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| Oh no! The Big 60! Happy birthday, Dad. |
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| Happy 57th Mom! |
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| T&T's first run with the girls. |
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| A couple of cowpokes. |
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| Mandy, Tina, and Babe |
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| Mandy and Babe |
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| Larry's girls; Tina, Mandy, and Babe. |
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
May 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Sit down and eat
What defines a normal relationship, whether it be friendship or romantic relationship? I am not sure any of the relationships (outside my family—because really, what is considered 'normal' in families?) I have would be considered normal. I have never had the huge group of girlfriends, or a group of friends at all. I tend to pick people out who I think are amazing people and hope to befriend them. I am very good at this because my friends are truly amazing. My amazing friends have all different characters, opinions, and walks of life and I wouldn't have this any other way. They bring to me invaluable love and support, just by being who they are. They inspire me to be a better person and create a desire in me to grow and believe.
There have been times in my life where I felt I had missed out on the huge group of girlfriends—partying, gossiping until 4 a.m., all those 'normal' things. But what I have found in my group—that is not a group—of electic friends is worth so much more than the normalcy. I see that now.
Relationships are a whole different matter. I have not had a 'normal,' healthy relationship in several years. I know that all that while I have had other issues to deal with and any time I brought a man into the mix disaster was the outcome. But I am at a different spot in my life and a relationship is something I very much look forward to - a healthy, loving relationship. But it is a hard time a'findin'.
So, I reflect on myself and wonder what it is I bring to the table in all relationships. My list comes up awfully short.
What I bring to the table:
1. I am good at talking about myself.
2. I am a good listener.
3.
4.
5.
I am just making fun of myself, but a little part of me really is going "?!"
There have been times in my life where I felt I had missed out on the huge group of girlfriends—partying, gossiping until 4 a.m., all those 'normal' things. But what I have found in my group—that is not a group—of electic friends is worth so much more than the normalcy. I see that now.
Relationships are a whole different matter. I have not had a 'normal,' healthy relationship in several years. I know that all that while I have had other issues to deal with and any time I brought a man into the mix disaster was the outcome. But I am at a different spot in my life and a relationship is something I very much look forward to - a healthy, loving relationship. But it is a hard time a'findin'.
So, I reflect on myself and wonder what it is I bring to the table in all relationships. My list comes up awfully short.
What I bring to the table:
1. I am good at talking about myself.
2. I am a good listener.
3.
4.
5.
I am just making fun of myself, but a little part of me really is going "?!"
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Weight
Last week I joined WeightWatchers for, oh, the umpteenth time. I think it is important and time for me to take control of my well-being. I have the desire to do what I need to do even if I don't always have the willpower. I've heard some people say that willpower is a myth, just some vague excuse that people use to not go after what they want. Well, I have not thought that theory completely through yet, but until then, my vague excuse is my lack of willpower. ha.
I have gotten the exercise down pat, even if I have waned a bit since my trip to Chicago in March. But my struggle with food has been on the rampage. My issue is mostly emotional eating. I know I don't eat the most healthfully, but when my emotions are rolling, the food keeps pouring in. I am not sure how to solve this problem but I have joined WeightWatchers for help, knowledge, and support.
Several women at work joined WW a year ago and have had tremendous results. They look svelte and beautiful and most importantly, confident. That has inspired me to get with the game and take some action. If it worked for them, it certainly can work for me too.
Why will WW work for me this time? Well, I am at a completely different place in my life. My health has taken priority over everything, even dating. :) I am not dreading it this time. I know it will be difficult and I will have plateaus and setbacks, but I am excited to get to a place in my life where I can be svelte and confident too. I think I deserve it.
I have gotten the exercise down pat, even if I have waned a bit since my trip to Chicago in March. But my struggle with food has been on the rampage. My issue is mostly emotional eating. I know I don't eat the most healthfully, but when my emotions are rolling, the food keeps pouring in. I am not sure how to solve this problem but I have joined WeightWatchers for help, knowledge, and support.
Several women at work joined WW a year ago and have had tremendous results. They look svelte and beautiful and most importantly, confident. That has inspired me to get with the game and take some action. If it worked for them, it certainly can work for me too.
Why will WW work for me this time? Well, I am at a completely different place in my life. My health has taken priority over everything, even dating. :) I am not dreading it this time. I know it will be difficult and I will have plateaus and setbacks, but I am excited to get to a place in my life where I can be svelte and confident too. I think I deserve it.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Taboo
Almost 2 years ago I had a breakdown of the mental sort. It was a long time a comin'. It was rough and the beginning downslide was a confusing, scary time. The breakdown in my mental stability and life lasted for months. It was a challenge to lift my head off the pillow for over 6 months. I missed a ton of work without knowing how I could get through one more day, much less 8 hours of stress and pressures from my job. This was doubly heartbreaking for me because I loved my work and I loved the people I worked with, but when all you can see is the rain, all you experience is the mud. My memories of that period of my life are few and convoluted. I can't say what happened which month or even remember certain events. I have had to piece together what I can through family and friend's recap. What I do remember is burying my head in my pillows, half sleeping for days and days on end. I remember dreading the sun. I remember avoiding phone calls, texts, emails, anything that connected me to the world outside my bedroom door. I remember my back and hips aching from laying so long... the endless black and hopelessness that revealed itself in the hollowness of my eyes.
I also remember the cold looks from people at work when I missed days and my workload had to be covered by someone else. I remember the lectures on making sure I follow procedures for calling in sick to work, the humiliating experience of filling out forms requesting donated leave time, my doctor filling out 10 pages of paperwork documenting my health and reasons for my absenteeism. I remember the aching to carry on normally and I remember the deep, deep shame that I couldn't.
I do not know what other people thought of my breakdown. I know that although work tried it's best to be accomodating and help me as best as they could, it wasn't enough for me. I remember screaming in my mind for them to understand and be patient with me; that I was not putting on an act and I really, really needed their support and patience. On the upslide to recovery, I lost my position. It could not have happened at a worse time. They could not wait for me to turn myself around. The group I worked with deserved a full-time employee capable of carrying on a full, productive work day. I couldn't provide that and it broke my heart. I was called into a meeting with 3 other women and as they told me I was being terminated from my position; and if I didn't improve, I would be terminated from my workplace altogether. I sat there and sobbed as my failure was rubbed in my face.
Although even still I struggle to feel blessed and grateful for my workplace keeping me, I feel the sting of the pressure I faced to constantly meet their expectations even when I was on leave. I feel gratitude but some disappointment that I wasn't able to convey the absolute deprivation of self-worth or motivation. It is a part of the disorder, and although my doctor explained and documented it, I believe it wasn't fully realized. Mental health issues are taboo. If people awknowledge it at all, it is scoffed at and jokes made. Some people think those with mental health issues are dramatic, pessimistic, or just lazy. It hurts deeply to be thought of this way.
It also hurts that at that time in my life I did not receive a card, a flower, a note of any kind wishing me well. Because I have a mental illness, no recognition is made of it. It is not that I wanted the card or flowers, I wanted the thought behind it - the someone is thinking about you. I remember one phone call from someone I worked with at the time. I was sobbing, walking in the rain one dark evening when I answered the call. It was difficult to answer the phone through my tears. That phone call carried me through for days. It gave me hope that although I didn't care about my future or life, someone else did. That was something to hang on to.
Now, when people at work are sick or out of the office for surgeries, flowers and cards are sent, and it bites me. But, I feel good that those people who are suffering with sickness or surgeries are remembered and thought of. I hope it brings them comfort through their healing process. I also hope that some day those with mental illnesses will be remembered and comforted by the thoughts and prayers of others too.
I also remember the cold looks from people at work when I missed days and my workload had to be covered by someone else. I remember the lectures on making sure I follow procedures for calling in sick to work, the humiliating experience of filling out forms requesting donated leave time, my doctor filling out 10 pages of paperwork documenting my health and reasons for my absenteeism. I remember the aching to carry on normally and I remember the deep, deep shame that I couldn't.
I do not know what other people thought of my breakdown. I know that although work tried it's best to be accomodating and help me as best as they could, it wasn't enough for me. I remember screaming in my mind for them to understand and be patient with me; that I was not putting on an act and I really, really needed their support and patience. On the upslide to recovery, I lost my position. It could not have happened at a worse time. They could not wait for me to turn myself around. The group I worked with deserved a full-time employee capable of carrying on a full, productive work day. I couldn't provide that and it broke my heart. I was called into a meeting with 3 other women and as they told me I was being terminated from my position; and if I didn't improve, I would be terminated from my workplace altogether. I sat there and sobbed as my failure was rubbed in my face.
Although even still I struggle to feel blessed and grateful for my workplace keeping me, I feel the sting of the pressure I faced to constantly meet their expectations even when I was on leave. I feel gratitude but some disappointment that I wasn't able to convey the absolute deprivation of self-worth or motivation. It is a part of the disorder, and although my doctor explained and documented it, I believe it wasn't fully realized. Mental health issues are taboo. If people awknowledge it at all, it is scoffed at and jokes made. Some people think those with mental health issues are dramatic, pessimistic, or just lazy. It hurts deeply to be thought of this way.
It also hurts that at that time in my life I did not receive a card, a flower, a note of any kind wishing me well. Because I have a mental illness, no recognition is made of it. It is not that I wanted the card or flowers, I wanted the thought behind it - the someone is thinking about you. I remember one phone call from someone I worked with at the time. I was sobbing, walking in the rain one dark evening when I answered the call. It was difficult to answer the phone through my tears. That phone call carried me through for days. It gave me hope that although I didn't care about my future or life, someone else did. That was something to hang on to.
Now, when people at work are sick or out of the office for surgeries, flowers and cards are sent, and it bites me. But, I feel good that those people who are suffering with sickness or surgeries are remembered and thought of. I hope it brings them comfort through their healing process. I also hope that some day those with mental illnesses will be remembered and comforted by the thoughts and prayers of others too.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Awesome Evolution
Last night my Mom and I went to the Lincoln High School concert "Awesome Evolution – The Journey of the Beat." The concert style was a gospel/spiritual/revival-type concert. A hundred-some high school students sang and swayed to the rhythm of God's word with huge smiles and bouncing excitement. It was so powerful I sat with goosebumps and eyes full of tears for two hours. My cousin's daughter sang a solo. She is a half-pint with a booming, captivating voice; the air was caught in my throat and I was stunned at the beauty of her voice and the song. The choir backed her up but her voice held it's own and resonated through the auditorium. She was simply incredible.
It was one of the most powerful events I have been to. It was partly because of the talented students but mostly it was the excitement of celebrating God. Simply amazing. I would highly recommend the next show tonight.
It was one of the most powerful events I have been to. It was partly because of the talented students but mostly it was the excitement of celebrating God. Simply amazing. I would highly recommend the next show tonight.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Friendship
"The friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing is made of dearer stuff than the one who stays away." -Barbara Kingsolver
Has God given us a bigger gift than friendship? Some may argue family. I believe that family is somewhat a given, or automatic, blessing. When one is born, automatically there is a family. Two parents and one child. Whether or not the family is close or can be called a family in all healthy terms is a whole different story.
I am talking friendship now. Friends are the people one chooses to let in their mysterious, awkward little world. Friends are the people who choose you to let in their weird lives. A person cannot choose their family but they can choose their friends–and I am lucky enough to call my family true friends. I am picky about my friends, and maybe that doesn't make me the most popular person, but I want to surround myself with confident, intelligent, wonderful people who encourage me to be the best that I can be. I have to say that I am pretty damn good at choosing friends.
There was a time in my life when the world was black and full of anger and hate. I was depressed to the point that I could no longer function a normal life. I become a selfish person; consumed with my own demons. My ability to see other people's needs and desires was completely obliterated. I held guilt that I could not be there for my friends to help them through life, listen, laugh, or console. I still hold that guilt because I still am not the friend that I wish to be. The people in my life are stellar; they stuck by me through thick and thin. They listened to me cry, made me laugh when I didn't know it was possible, and reminded me—even if they didn't say it in so many words—that life was worth hanging on to. There were two things I feared more than death at that dark point in my life - and one of those fears was that my friends would tire of my tears and give up on me. They didn't.
How... HOW do you repay someone who never gave up on you? I do not know what that answer is so I have to try to become the friend that they were to me. It is still difficult because I am only starting to open up and trust others and, even more, myself. I owe it to them... and even more, they deserve it.
My heart overflows when I think of you guys; I love you and appreciate your love in return more than I could ever express.
"A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails." -Donna Roberts
Has God given us a bigger gift than friendship? Some may argue family. I believe that family is somewhat a given, or automatic, blessing. When one is born, automatically there is a family. Two parents and one child. Whether or not the family is close or can be called a family in all healthy terms is a whole different story.
I am talking friendship now. Friends are the people one chooses to let in their mysterious, awkward little world. Friends are the people who choose you to let in their weird lives. A person cannot choose their family but they can choose their friends–and I am lucky enough to call my family true friends. I am picky about my friends, and maybe that doesn't make me the most popular person, but I want to surround myself with confident, intelligent, wonderful people who encourage me to be the best that I can be. I have to say that I am pretty damn good at choosing friends.
There was a time in my life when the world was black and full of anger and hate. I was depressed to the point that I could no longer function a normal life. I become a selfish person; consumed with my own demons. My ability to see other people's needs and desires was completely obliterated. I held guilt that I could not be there for my friends to help them through life, listen, laugh, or console. I still hold that guilt because I still am not the friend that I wish to be. The people in my life are stellar; they stuck by me through thick and thin. They listened to me cry, made me laugh when I didn't know it was possible, and reminded me—even if they didn't say it in so many words—that life was worth hanging on to. There were two things I feared more than death at that dark point in my life - and one of those fears was that my friends would tire of my tears and give up on me. They didn't.
How... HOW do you repay someone who never gave up on you? I do not know what that answer is so I have to try to become the friend that they were to me. It is still difficult because I am only starting to open up and trust others and, even more, myself. I owe it to them... and even more, they deserve it.
My heart overflows when I think of you guys; I love you and appreciate your love in return more than I could ever express.
"A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails." -Donna Roberts
Blogger down
Blogger crashed yesterday and lost my "Friendship" post. This makes me sad because I struggled so much to find those words to express my love and appreciation for my friends and it is now lost. My heart holds those words, as well as my friends, closely. Always.
The comfort of words
Words speak to my heart more than most things. Some minds can put words to work so well that I can feel the truth and beauty of them resonate in my heart. The words build an image or thought that opens the mind to something I could always feel but never pinpoint. I crave this kind of jolting of my spirit—the connection I feel with someone who says something that moves me so deeply. I rarely can find the words or thoughts that can shake my own self.
One quote I find so simplistically beautiful it brings tears to my eyes:
One quote I find so simplistically beautiful it brings tears to my eyes:
"I believe if I should die, and you were to walk near my grave, from the very depths of the earth I would hear your footsteps." -Benito Perez Galdos
Monday, May 9, 2011
Momma's day
Yesterday was Mother's Day and, I think, a time to really appreciate the earth's most amazing people. Not that papas or non-mothers are wonderful too; but mother's are especially special. To create and nurture a baby in the body, to give birth—all of it is so incredibly miraculous to me. I am fascinated by it... and jealous. Is it horrible of me to say that Mother's Day holds a bit of a sting for me? I celebrate mothers, not just my own but all the beautiful, courageous, stupendous mothers out there. They are who I hope to become one day.
There was a time that I really doubted my desire for children. The responsibility of them terrified (terrifies) me. But I imagine my future and what it holds for me when I am 60 years old. The thought of not having children and one day grandchildren filling my home leaves me feeling desolate and so, so sad. That feeling overrides the terror. I want to carry a baby in my womb and feel the kicking and experience childbirth. I want to introduce a baby to the world and all it's wonders. To hold a child in my lap and read a book to her and kiss her and tuck her in at night. I want her to play outside all afternoon after school and prom dress shop with her. I want to see her fall in love for the first time. I want all those things and more... I want the swollen feet and mood swings. To rock a colicy baby at night, watch her fall and scrape her knees and provide the comfort only a mother can give. To see her fall in love and hold her when her heart breaks. Maybe these are incredibly selfish things, but I see the beauty in giving someone the pleasures and pains of life. The pleasures are so much more than the pain. Even I can see that now.
Hopefully having the privilege of creating life a little later in my life will give me the perspective and joy I might not have seen when I was younger. If I am ever blessed with having children I hope I will remember these wishes and be endlessly grateful.
As I admire and respect mothers yesterday, today, and forever, I also wish for them to remember the treasures in life when the trials and pains get to be too much. I wish for them to listen a little longer and hug their children a little tighter. I wish for them to always see the joy and beauty that I see in having a family.
There was a time that I really doubted my desire for children. The responsibility of them terrified (terrifies) me. But I imagine my future and what it holds for me when I am 60 years old. The thought of not having children and one day grandchildren filling my home leaves me feeling desolate and so, so sad. That feeling overrides the terror. I want to carry a baby in my womb and feel the kicking and experience childbirth. I want to introduce a baby to the world and all it's wonders. To hold a child in my lap and read a book to her and kiss her and tuck her in at night. I want her to play outside all afternoon after school and prom dress shop with her. I want to see her fall in love for the first time. I want all those things and more... I want the swollen feet and mood swings. To rock a colicy baby at night, watch her fall and scrape her knees and provide the comfort only a mother can give. To see her fall in love and hold her when her heart breaks. Maybe these are incredibly selfish things, but I see the beauty in giving someone the pleasures and pains of life. The pleasures are so much more than the pain. Even I can see that now.
Hopefully having the privilege of creating life a little later in my life will give me the perspective and joy I might not have seen when I was younger. If I am ever blessed with having children I hope I will remember these wishes and be endlessly grateful.
As I admire and respect mothers yesterday, today, and forever, I also wish for them to remember the treasures in life when the trials and pains get to be too much. I wish for them to listen a little longer and hug their children a little tighter. I wish for them to always see the joy and beauty that I see in having a family.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Two dates
I had two dates this week, with different people. (My friend called me a floozey for it.) I was really excited about the first date. Great looking guy, someone with his act together, made me laugh... Well, that date bombed. We met for a drink and although we covered every topic under the sun, it was dull and awkward. I was so nervous that I could not tell if there were sparks. I left the date, climbed in my car, and cried. Disappointed that once again it (I) had bombed.
The second date was very spontaneous with someone I had just met. We met for coffee at my favorite coffee shop and talked for a couple of hours. He is from a different country and has traveled pretty extensively. He was interesting and funny and incredibly intelligent. I had so much fun talking to this man, foreign to the country and very foreign to me, it was refreshing. I can't say that I had any chemistry with him either but I certainly enjoyed my time with him and hope to see him again.
My social/love life has been very boring and incredibly disappointing lately. It seems that all my friends either live far away or live nearby but are married with kids. I wish I had someone who I could spontaneously call to go for a walk or see a movie with. I guess that is the plight of an unmarried nearly-30-year-old.
And dating! Oh man, dating. Something that should be so fun and exciting has become rather tedious. There are plenty of men out there but those men have loads of baggage -- previous marriages, recovering broken hearts, kids, etc. Now, that is fine, because God knows I have loads of baggage myself, but that is why I think it is important for me to find someone stable and reliable. The last two dates have been with men who appear very stable. However, that is not enough. Chemistry, excitement, anxiousness should all be a part of dating and I just can't seem to find the combo. Obviously I haven't found 'the right one' yet; but it gets very discouraging to get excited to meet someone and have hopes crashed over and over again.
A few years ago I had prayed to God to give me someone to love. He sent me the man who eventually broke my heart like nothing I could imagine. The next man God sent me to love was not someone I was 'in' love with but who I did love and he became a treasured friend. What was in common with these two men? They both had immense emotional baggage. Immense. I was never able to crack either ones wall and that was very difficult for me to understand and forgive. It hurt deeply that they didn't trust me to care for them and love them the way I knew how to love. I felt that was why God had put them in my life and now I couldn't fulfill my wishes? Well, I soon came to realize that I did fulfill my wishes. I did love those men the best way I knew how and although that was not enough to make them love me back, God gave me someone to love just as I had asked.
Although I have found a renewed love for life and joy in each breath, I find that now I am the one with stone around my heart. I often feel boring and inadequate meeting new people, men especially. I feel shut down. I know that is to prevent myself from getting hurt or disappointed again but I do not know how to turn that fear away. I've said before that I feel like a baby discovering this whole new world of possibilities and happiness but I still feel I am viewing the dating world from my front porch instead of jumping into the lawn with bare feet.
The second date this week even commented on my stone heart. He looked me in the face and told me that although I am very beautiful, intelligent, and independent, he could feel my reservation. He openly asked me if my heart had been broken and when I nodded, he said that I need to forgive myself and my past and look brightly to the future. I was stunned that although I was shut down I was so transparent. But his words really touched me.
Forgive myself and my past; I never even considered the possibility that I could hold a grudge against myself or my past. The idea of it fills me with the vision of work to be done... and hope. His words were the truth, as soon as he spoke them, I could feel the truth of it run over me like water.
Look brightly to the future... I love this. I will make this my mission every day.
The second date was very spontaneous with someone I had just met. We met for coffee at my favorite coffee shop and talked for a couple of hours. He is from a different country and has traveled pretty extensively. He was interesting and funny and incredibly intelligent. I had so much fun talking to this man, foreign to the country and very foreign to me, it was refreshing. I can't say that I had any chemistry with him either but I certainly enjoyed my time with him and hope to see him again.
My social/love life has been very boring and incredibly disappointing lately. It seems that all my friends either live far away or live nearby but are married with kids. I wish I had someone who I could spontaneously call to go for a walk or see a movie with. I guess that is the plight of an unmarried nearly-30-year-old.
And dating! Oh man, dating. Something that should be so fun and exciting has become rather tedious. There are plenty of men out there but those men have loads of baggage -- previous marriages, recovering broken hearts, kids, etc. Now, that is fine, because God knows I have loads of baggage myself, but that is why I think it is important for me to find someone stable and reliable. The last two dates have been with men who appear very stable. However, that is not enough. Chemistry, excitement, anxiousness should all be a part of dating and I just can't seem to find the combo. Obviously I haven't found 'the right one' yet; but it gets very discouraging to get excited to meet someone and have hopes crashed over and over again.
A few years ago I had prayed to God to give me someone to love. He sent me the man who eventually broke my heart like nothing I could imagine. The next man God sent me to love was not someone I was 'in' love with but who I did love and he became a treasured friend. What was in common with these two men? They both had immense emotional baggage. Immense. I was never able to crack either ones wall and that was very difficult for me to understand and forgive. It hurt deeply that they didn't trust me to care for them and love them the way I knew how to love. I felt that was why God had put them in my life and now I couldn't fulfill my wishes? Well, I soon came to realize that I did fulfill my wishes. I did love those men the best way I knew how and although that was not enough to make them love me back, God gave me someone to love just as I had asked.
Although I have found a renewed love for life and joy in each breath, I find that now I am the one with stone around my heart. I often feel boring and inadequate meeting new people, men especially. I feel shut down. I know that is to prevent myself from getting hurt or disappointed again but I do not know how to turn that fear away. I've said before that I feel like a baby discovering this whole new world of possibilities and happiness but I still feel I am viewing the dating world from my front porch instead of jumping into the lawn with bare feet.
The second date this week even commented on my stone heart. He looked me in the face and told me that although I am very beautiful, intelligent, and independent, he could feel my reservation. He openly asked me if my heart had been broken and when I nodded, he said that I need to forgive myself and my past and look brightly to the future. I was stunned that although I was shut down I was so transparent. But his words really touched me.
Forgive myself and my past; I never even considered the possibility that I could hold a grudge against myself or my past. The idea of it fills me with the vision of work to be done... and hope. His words were the truth, as soon as he spoke them, I could feel the truth of it run over me like water.
Look brightly to the future... I love this. I will make this my mission every day.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
A reckoning
I remember the day 9/11 very well. A day I was glued to the tv. The evening of 9/11 I went to a special church service in the evening with a friend of mine and as we listened to the pastor tears flowed down my face. I could not imagine the horror so many people had experienced. In the following days, I heard the stories of the heros - those on the planes, those firemen willing to risk their lives, and countless others. And then I heard the stories of people in wheelchairs stuck on the 15th floor of the World Trade Center, watching as terrified people ran past them, ran down the stairs where their wheelchairs could not take them. The stories, all of them, broke my heart and do even today.
A great American victory occured over the weekend. The death of Osama bin Laden... the leader of al-Qaeda. The mastermind of terroristic acts upon countless people, the death of thousands of innocent Americans, the destructor of security and comfort. Because of the acts of he and al Qaeda, America has been on edge—especially for the past 10 years—and hungry for justice.
So his death has become a national celebration and a so-called reckoning. I have hope for the survivors and loved-ones of fallen victims and soldiers who have lost their lives to the hands of terrorism. I pray that they may find at least a tiny bit of comfort in the fact that bin Laden no longer pollutes the earth. It does not bring loved ones back to us but perhaps there is comfort in knowing he can never hurt anyone again.
I celebrate, but with hesitation. I rejoice in the fact that one more evil person has been extinguished but it makes me wonder to what level humanity has been lowered. My heart aches and wonders what breeds such hate and resentment in one person?
In our world, I see hatred and loathing at every turn. Where is the love?
"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." -Mother Teresa
We belong to each other. Humanity is one. "The state of being human." We are one. When we show and commit acts of hatred and disdain for others, we show and commit it to ourselves. Why is that not understood?
"Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal." -Martin Luther King Jr.
I believe those words as the truth but it is hard to fathom in this world.
A great American victory occured over the weekend. The death of Osama bin Laden... the leader of al-Qaeda. The mastermind of terroristic acts upon countless people, the death of thousands of innocent Americans, the destructor of security and comfort. Because of the acts of he and al Qaeda, America has been on edge—especially for the past 10 years—and hungry for justice.
So his death has become a national celebration and a so-called reckoning. I have hope for the survivors and loved-ones of fallen victims and soldiers who have lost their lives to the hands of terrorism. I pray that they may find at least a tiny bit of comfort in the fact that bin Laden no longer pollutes the earth. It does not bring loved ones back to us but perhaps there is comfort in knowing he can never hurt anyone again.
I celebrate, but with hesitation. I rejoice in the fact that one more evil person has been extinguished but it makes me wonder to what level humanity has been lowered. My heart aches and wonders what breeds such hate and resentment in one person?
In our world, I see hatred and loathing at every turn. Where is the love?
"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." -Mother Teresa
We belong to each other. Humanity is one. "The state of being human." We are one. When we show and commit acts of hatred and disdain for others, we show and commit it to ourselves. Why is that not understood?
"Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal." -Martin Luther King Jr.
I believe those words as the truth but it is hard to fathom in this world.
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