My big girl, Ruby,
Last week you turned one. Wow. Let that sink in a moment. You lived 365 days on this rotating earth and now I no longer describe your age in months, now I say "year." I have a daughter who is 1 year old.... Nope, still doesn't really sink in. How quickly this delicous, snuggly year has gone by!
You spent your first birthday with influenza, which you caught the week before. The day of your birthday was the last day you had a fever with your illness and you were not in the best mood to be celebrating. Grandma and Grandpa came to see you on your special day and we had a quiet celebration together. I had ordered a cake and cupcakes to share with daycare but you were out of daycare the whole week of your birthday. So we had cake with G&G and you were not impressed with the cake.... or your dinner... or your bottle... or anything, really. I want to have a birthday party for you, but between the illness we both had and the -30 degree weather, it has been tough to plan. But I still hope to soon and hope you don't mind if mama is a little late planning things. That is something you will have to get used to about me - my sense of time is a bit skewed.
At one year old, you are an adventurer. This was something I could never imagine from my sweet, quiet Ruby who at 3 months sat contentedly for hours in her bouncy seat. Now, you are rarely content, you are very busy exploring anything within reach, and often times anything and everything out of reach. Your crawl can only be described as ferocious, in speed and determination. You walk along furniture and fall to your bottom heavily when you decide you can get places faster on hands and knees. You have a huge curiosity and are often somewhat gruff. You babble so sure of yourself that I know that you know what you are saying, I just don't know what you are saying. You announce each syllable with such suredness. Yet, when I ask you to say phrases or words that I know you can say, you are suddenly hesitant and sometimes bashful. I ask you what a monkey says and you tuck your chin to your chest and give a shy smile, "ha ha ha." You love books and bath time and sucking on my hair. You dislike using a sippy cup, having your hair washed, and being alone. You are very no-nonsense and pretty much the polar opposite of the baby you were at 4 or 5 months. Your determination and stubbornness have baffled me and I have had to start disciplining you far earlier than I could have ever imagined. To my dismay, your reaction to "no" is to just smile and continue on your merry way. (I am going to have to read those toddler books SOON.) I could not be more surprised or delighted with the little girl (gulp!) you've become.
Today you had your 1 year appointment with your pediatrician and you are 22.4 pounds and 29.5 inches tall. I have raised a child! I can't look at you these days without thinking that you are no longer a baby, that my preemie is now a toddler, and the thought of this swells my heart so big with pride and tears that I cannot contain it. I'm so happy to see you grow up and so sad that it's happening so fast.
The last few months have held quite a few challenges for you and I. We've been trying to get you on a good, steady rhythm of sleep - to no avail. You have cut 4 teeth so far, and we've endured the stomach flu, ear infections, as well as colds and influenza, all amongst the holidays. It hasn't been easy. I sometimes feel like a bad mother because I feel like I can't keep you healthy, but I know in my heart that I am doing every thing I can to keep you healthy, happy, and growing. Then I lay off and remind myself that you are happy and healthy (most of the time) and that I am sure that you know that there is no one on this earth who loves and adores you more than me.
As difficult as it can some times be, every day I wake up to you and know that there is nothing in my life I'd rather be doing than raising you and there is no one I'd rather spend my days with. Every day is an adventure with you, Ruby, and I thank you for opening my eyes to a joy and beauty in life that I never saw before, even on those days we are both so tired we cannot see straight. Even on those days when you are angry with me for not letting you eat tissue paper. Even on those days when I'm frustrated because you woke up 15 times at night... There's beauty in all of it and I know one day I'm going to miss your tangled mass of hair, the way you throw your food all over the kitchen, and the way you whisper "mama." Just like how I already miss the teeny tiny you and the gurgle noises you made or the soft way you placed your hand on my cheek. I think of all the memories we have made this past year, and all the memories we have to make in the years to come. Ruby, I am so blessed to be your mama and to get to make those memories with you.
All my love,
Mama
Last week you turned one. Wow. Let that sink in a moment. You lived 365 days on this rotating earth and now I no longer describe your age in months, now I say "year." I have a daughter who is 1 year old.... Nope, still doesn't really sink in. How quickly this delicous, snuggly year has gone by!
You spent your first birthday with influenza, which you caught the week before. The day of your birthday was the last day you had a fever with your illness and you were not in the best mood to be celebrating. Grandma and Grandpa came to see you on your special day and we had a quiet celebration together. I had ordered a cake and cupcakes to share with daycare but you were out of daycare the whole week of your birthday. So we had cake with G&G and you were not impressed with the cake.... or your dinner... or your bottle... or anything, really. I want to have a birthday party for you, but between the illness we both had and the -30 degree weather, it has been tough to plan. But I still hope to soon and hope you don't mind if mama is a little late planning things. That is something you will have to get used to about me - my sense of time is a bit skewed.
At one year old, you are an adventurer. This was something I could never imagine from my sweet, quiet Ruby who at 3 months sat contentedly for hours in her bouncy seat. Now, you are rarely content, you are very busy exploring anything within reach, and often times anything and everything out of reach. Your crawl can only be described as ferocious, in speed and determination. You walk along furniture and fall to your bottom heavily when you decide you can get places faster on hands and knees. You have a huge curiosity and are often somewhat gruff. You babble so sure of yourself that I know that you know what you are saying, I just don't know what you are saying. You announce each syllable with such suredness. Yet, when I ask you to say phrases or words that I know you can say, you are suddenly hesitant and sometimes bashful. I ask you what a monkey says and you tuck your chin to your chest and give a shy smile, "ha ha ha." You love books and bath time and sucking on my hair. You dislike using a sippy cup, having your hair washed, and being alone. You are very no-nonsense and pretty much the polar opposite of the baby you were at 4 or 5 months. Your determination and stubbornness have baffled me and I have had to start disciplining you far earlier than I could have ever imagined. To my dismay, your reaction to "no" is to just smile and continue on your merry way. (I am going to have to read those toddler books SOON.) I could not be more surprised or delighted with the little girl (gulp!) you've become.
Today you had your 1 year appointment with your pediatrician and you are 22.4 pounds and 29.5 inches tall. I have raised a child! I can't look at you these days without thinking that you are no longer a baby, that my preemie is now a toddler, and the thought of this swells my heart so big with pride and tears that I cannot contain it. I'm so happy to see you grow up and so sad that it's happening so fast.
The last few months have held quite a few challenges for you and I. We've been trying to get you on a good, steady rhythm of sleep - to no avail. You have cut 4 teeth so far, and we've endured the stomach flu, ear infections, as well as colds and influenza, all amongst the holidays. It hasn't been easy. I sometimes feel like a bad mother because I feel like I can't keep you healthy, but I know in my heart that I am doing every thing I can to keep you healthy, happy, and growing. Then I lay off and remind myself that you are happy and healthy (most of the time) and that I am sure that you know that there is no one on this earth who loves and adores you more than me.
As difficult as it can some times be, every day I wake up to you and know that there is nothing in my life I'd rather be doing than raising you and there is no one I'd rather spend my days with. Every day is an adventure with you, Ruby, and I thank you for opening my eyes to a joy and beauty in life that I never saw before, even on those days we are both so tired we cannot see straight. Even on those days when you are angry with me for not letting you eat tissue paper. Even on those days when I'm frustrated because you woke up 15 times at night... There's beauty in all of it and I know one day I'm going to miss your tangled mass of hair, the way you throw your food all over the kitchen, and the way you whisper "mama." Just like how I already miss the teeny tiny you and the gurgle noises you made or the soft way you placed your hand on my cheek. I think of all the memories we have made this past year, and all the memories we have to make in the years to come. Ruby, I am so blessed to be your mama and to get to make those memories with you.
All my love,
Mama
