Tuesday, April 30, 2013

For my girl




On the Night You Were Born

Nancy Tillman

 

On the night you were born,

the moon smiled with such wonder

that the stars peeked in to see you

and the night wind whispered,

"Life will never be the same."

Because there had never been anyone like you...

ever in the world.

 

So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain

that they whispered the sound of your wonderful name.

The sound of your name is a magical one.

Let's say it out loud before we go on.

 

It sailed through the farmland

high on the breeze...

 

Over the ocean...

 

And through the trees...

 

Until everyone heard it

and everyone knew

of the one and only ever you.

 

Not once had there been such eyes,

such a nose,

such silly, wiggly, wonderful toes.

In fact, I think I'll count to three

so you can wiggle your toes for me.

 

When the polar bears heard,

they danced until dawn.

 

From faraway places,

the geese flew home.

 

The moon stayed up until

morning next day.

 

And none of the ladybugs flew away.

 

So whenever you doubt just how special you are

and you wonder who loves you, how much and how far,

listen for geese honking high in the sky.

(They're singing a song to remember you by.)

Or notice the bears asleep at the zoo.

(It's because they've been dancing all night for you!)

Or drift off to sleep to the sound of the wind.

(Listen closely...it's whispering your name again!)

 

If the moon stays up until morning one day,

or a ladybug lands and decides to stay,

or a little bird sits at your window awhile,

it's because they're all hoping to see you smile...

 

For never before in story or rhyme

(not even once upon a time)

has the world ever known a you, my friend,

and it never will, not ever again...


Heaven blew every trumpet

and played every horn

on the wonderful, marvelous

night you were born.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Oh, it never gets easier

This afternoon I will face more challenges and I've spend the morning pumping myself up and *trying* to convince myself that things will be fine. Either way, things will be what they will be and I can do my best to make things turn the way I want and that's all I can really do and I need to come to terms with that. That my power in this situation is limited and anyone who has been through court/legal issues, I think you know how powerless and helpless you can feel. It is simply awful.

Over the course of the years of therapy and just taking the ruthless bumps of life, I have come to learn that there's much more in life I can control than I ever realized. Things I can control: 1. My thoughts. 2. My feelings. 3. My actions. I always thought I was kind of a "victim" of my thoughts and emotions, but now, knowing that that is not the case, I feel a greater sense of power. But really, that's all it is - a sense. There is so much outside of ourselves that we can not control and accepting that, is something I struggle with every day. I have to remind myself daily that God has control and I need to rely on Him and trust Him. But that is so incredibly difficult, especially when I ask for things and nothing happens... days of nothing.... weeks of nothing.... months of nothing... It's like, "REALLY? DO YOU EVEN HEAR ME?" I just imagine God crossing His arms and shaking His head at my fickleness. He's probably like, "REALLY? DO YOU EVEN TRUST ME AT ALL?"

And I'll hang my head and grumble to myself... walk away and pout. Like usual. Then, eventually, I'll buck up because Life (well, my Life) does not tolerate one feeling sorry for oneself for too long. If you do, it'll sucker punch you again, or worse, shove a scenario in your face of someone or something that DOES deserve to feel sorry for themselves and then I'll feel like a Grade A loser and whiner.

So, today, I will: 1. Remain positive. 2. Attempt to look with loving eyes (i.e. exude love, which is the exact opposite of hate. Must remember this.). 3. TRUST GOD.

That is all.