At the start of 2016, I could feel a change coming, personally. I won't even begin to discuss the year 2016 in anything other than a personal way, as the events of 2016 globally require too many words, too many thoughts, and too much heartache for me to bear. But personally, 2016 was a year headed towards path unknown to me.
A few different things lead towards this shift for me: a settling of legal issues regarding Ruby, a new relationship, events at my work that meant I either change or leave, and a renewed hunger to create this life I feel in my heart and dream about, but for so many reasons have not created.
I began the year without resolutions but with a fistful of ideas and hope. I knew most of the "external" events in my life would evolve organically, as those things tend to do. It was my internal voice and direction that needed some work. So in January, I began an online class, Living Brave, by Brene Brown. It was a full semester, with the first half focused on her book Daring Greatly, and the second half of the semester focused on her book Rising Strong. If you've never heard of Brene or read the books, the basic gist is this: To live a brave and beautiful life, you have to be vulnerable (Daring Greatly). In being vulnerable, inevitably you will crash. Rising Strong is exactly about that: how to rise strong when you've been vulnerable and crashed and to find the courage to Dare Greatly again.
The class was no joke. Never have taken her class before, I expected less work and more "fluff." It turned out to be a lot of work, a lot of emotional "heavy lifting," writing, and more tears than I ever dreamed. But it was so worth it! I learned a ton about myself and healed some dusty corners of my heart that I didn't know needed healing. I learned a ton... and then soon came to the realization that knowledge is one thing, but putting the knowledge to work takes a ton of practice. So, I've been practicing. I've been practicing being vulnerable and I've been practicing rising strong.
Emotionally, I feel a huge shift in myself. I feel more grown up. More mature, even though my actions can sometimes betray the newfound maturity (practicing!). I feel softer, yet braver. Although so much of it feels new to me, and I go back to review my work and remember the lessons, I feel calmer. I have an innate (it feels innate) understanding that I didn't have before and it makes me feel a bit more confident. By innate, I mean so many times through the course, it was like remembering something you already knew, instead of learning something fresh. Brene commented on that several times, and I paraphrase: "You know this in your heart, but because of life circumstances and survival and the emotional guards and tactics we learn, the innate knowledge is lost."
Such good stuff. I am so glad I took the class!
In 2017, I am taking another Brene class called "The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting: A Wholehearted Revolution." So anxious to begin...
A few different things lead towards this shift for me: a settling of legal issues regarding Ruby, a new relationship, events at my work that meant I either change or leave, and a renewed hunger to create this life I feel in my heart and dream about, but for so many reasons have not created.
I began the year without resolutions but with a fistful of ideas and hope. I knew most of the "external" events in my life would evolve organically, as those things tend to do. It was my internal voice and direction that needed some work. So in January, I began an online class, Living Brave, by Brene Brown. It was a full semester, with the first half focused on her book Daring Greatly, and the second half of the semester focused on her book Rising Strong. If you've never heard of Brene or read the books, the basic gist is this: To live a brave and beautiful life, you have to be vulnerable (Daring Greatly). In being vulnerable, inevitably you will crash. Rising Strong is exactly about that: how to rise strong when you've been vulnerable and crashed and to find the courage to Dare Greatly again.
The class was no joke. Never have taken her class before, I expected less work and more "fluff." It turned out to be a lot of work, a lot of emotional "heavy lifting," writing, and more tears than I ever dreamed. But it was so worth it! I learned a ton about myself and healed some dusty corners of my heart that I didn't know needed healing. I learned a ton... and then soon came to the realization that knowledge is one thing, but putting the knowledge to work takes a ton of practice. So, I've been practicing. I've been practicing being vulnerable and I've been practicing rising strong.
Emotionally, I feel a huge shift in myself. I feel more grown up. More mature, even though my actions can sometimes betray the newfound maturity (practicing!). I feel softer, yet braver. Although so much of it feels new to me, and I go back to review my work and remember the lessons, I feel calmer. I have an innate (it feels innate) understanding that I didn't have before and it makes me feel a bit more confident. By innate, I mean so many times through the course, it was like remembering something you already knew, instead of learning something fresh. Brene commented on that several times, and I paraphrase: "You know this in your heart, but because of life circumstances and survival and the emotional guards and tactics we learn, the innate knowledge is lost."
Such good stuff. I am so glad I took the class!
In 2017, I am taking another Brene class called "The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting: A Wholehearted Revolution." So anxious to begin...
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